Brightside
by Twelve Fifty One
Summary: Hikakao/ Hitachiincest. She's touching his chest now, he takes off her dress now, let me go. And I just can't look it's killing me and taking control...But I'm Mr Brightside. Haruhi and Hikaru have been secretly dating for several months. Kaoru finds out.
1. Chapter 1

Kaoru ran, feet pounding on the tarmac beneath him. Rain poured, soaking him but he didn't even shiver.

Hikaru was in the church, comforting Haruhi when he got the call.

She realised immediately. He thought she'd be upset, scared even. But no matter what, his connection to Kaoru was greater – much greater- than his to her.

She understood. She didn't like it, but she understood.

So he ran. He left her on the phone to Tamaki, still hunched under the table, cowering from the storm, but safe in the knowledge Tamaki was on his way to reassure her.

Hikaru's panic over Haruhi paled completely into insignificance compared to this. That was nothing, a mere drop of water parallel to the huge ocean of terror he felt now his twin was in danger.

He ran in blind fear. The rain made everything harder; fog obscured his vision. He fell but took no notice of the pain, or the blood trickling from the grazes newly formed on his hands and knees.

Kaoru had always hid the extremities of his emotions from his older brother. Sure enough, outwardly he appeared to be the weaker, needy twin but the reality was anything but. Truthfully, it was Hikaru who needed the guidance, the care and patience. That was why Kaoru always made sure that their performance in the host club was exactly that- just a performance. In the privacy of their home life, Hikaru was the one who leaned of Kaoru whilst the latter did everything in his power to support him and make him happy.

Even if that led to his own unhappiness.

~*~  
It had been roughly a month since Kaoru had seen it.

Since he had witnessed the event that broke his heart.

It was his bedroom for god's sake. He had every right to be in there.

She, however, did not.

He'd never forget how she looked; long hair, messy from what they'd been doing, the soft swell of her rounded skin. He'd always thought Haruhi to be angular, skinny, underneath all those layers but in reality she was so much more feminine, smooth and muted curves usually hidden.

That was the moment of realisation for two things.

Number one; he did not love Haruhi. He did not lust after her. Seeing her like that, exposed and open, had completely put him off. It wasn't that he was repulsed by her body- he just wasn't attracted to it any longer.

Number two was the more complicated insight. Haruhi's body might not appeal to him but the other one he'd glimpsed, had.

Pale, lanky with slender muscle. Kaoru had seen him topless, in just his underwear many a time but the twinge occurring then didn't even come close to comparing with the utter yearning he felt now.

Despite his desire though, he managed to compose himself, to drag his eyes away and run from the doorway as Haruhi slipped her dress back over her head.

Later he could pretend it never happened, that he never saw a thing. But he couldn't hide all his feelings from Hikaru.

Twins have a sixth sense when it comes to each other. Hikaru might not know what was wrong but he was aware something was. The little signs revealed it all. The twitch as his brother moved away from his touch ever so slightly. The way he caught him staring at him from the corner of his eye, only for Kaoru to dart his gaze away when Hikaru turned his head. It all added up to something- but what?

At nights Hikaru heard him crying. He wanted to move over, just slightly, in their huge bed but couldn't quite bring himself to. Instead he just listened, eyes scrunched up with the pain of hearing his twin break down. Sometimes he even put his hands over his ears to try and quell the muffled noises of pain. He would wait until Kaoru got up and went into their en-suite before taking his hands away and letting himself fall asleep.

But in the morning, the pain always returned when he saw the limp bandages or plasters on Kaoru's arms before he had a chance to put his wristbands on.

Kaoru sat underneath a dripping tree after having finally collapsed in a state of fitful tears.

Letting himself slip sideways, he lay on damp leaves, allowing his tears to mingle with the rain water.

Hikaru ran erratically, his breath coming in short, harsh pants. His legs gave way, leaving him gasping on his hands and knees. Frustration finally broke through the numbness and he yelled into the empty surroundings.

When he first received Tamaki's call he'd felt nothing. Then, after seeing Haruhi's confused face, dread jolted through him. After telling her to call Tamaki, he'd ran out of the church.

If only he'd spoken to Kaoru about his attraction to Haruhi. If only he'd held him that first night when he cried. If only he'd never gone on that date and left his vulnerable brother alone. If only, if only, if only.

A call.

Hikaru glanced at it in desperation, longing for it to be Kyoya. The only sane and calm human being in the host club who might actually be of some use. If not him, then Mori would do. But please God, don't let it be Tamaki.

It wasn't.

"Hikaru?" His twin's shaking voice left Hikaru speechless with relief.

"Hika-chan…I've done something stupid."

And all at once, that panic came flooding back, congealing in his veins and turning his body to ice.

"Stay on the phone." He managed to stutter out. "Just let me know you're still breathing."


	2. Chapter 2

It had barely been five minutes but it felt like too long to Hikaru. Five minutes was a long time when you were running in blind terror. But he'd found him.

Huddled underneath a tree, shaking and tinged blue. It wasn't the best position he could have been in but it was preferable to the images that had been flicking through his head; a constant, unrelenting slideshow of fear, accompanied by the never ceasing voice of "This is your fault."

Hikaru grabbed Kaoru, pulled him close with one arm whilst shaking off his coat with the other. He was soaked through as well but it didn't deter him from wrapping the thin material around his brother.

He realised they weren't that far from the church he'd originally been in. The irony of it- that all that time he'd only been a few minutes away when he'd been charging everywhere in blind panic.

He lifted Kaoru, struggling slightly under his weight but determination pushed him on.

He was so focused on his brother, he didn't notice the pouring stream of tears running off his chin.

Once inside, he dragged the shivering younger twin into a sitting position and held his face tightly between his hands.

"Have you taken any pills?" Fright distorted his voice, as did the relentless crying.

A shake of the head.

"Have you… Have you hurt yourself?" Hikaru stumbled over the words. He couldn't quite bring himself to ask "Have you cut yourself?"

Another shake, but more hesitant this time.

Hikaru dialled Tamaki's number, all the while clinging to Kaoru.

He must've managed to stutter out the right words, for it was only a few minutes before a car arrived to take them back to the hotel. Thankfully, none of the club accompanied the taxi.

Back in their room, Hikaru set about fixing his mess.

He stripped Kaoru down to his underwear, flinging the wet clothes of the floor, dressing him in dry, comfy clothes and swaddling him in the duvet. Only then did he dry himself.

If he had been paying more attention, he would have realised he'd dressed Kaoru in his own t-shirt and pajama bottoms and taken his brother's matching ones for himself.

After that, he sat on the bed behind Kaoru, holding him tightly and burrowing his face in his twins hair.

It was only a few seconds before Kaoru turned around, clutched at Hikaru's t-shirt and began to cry. Heart-breaking, wrenching sobs that shook both of their bodies and made Hikaru's chest ache.

"I'm so sorry Kaoru."

Because now, with nothing to hide any of their emotions, he could see the real pain Kaoru was in. The t-shirt showed off the superficial cuts on his arms and although they were scarce and small, they were still there.

A gasping noise was emitted as Kaoru halted his crying. Hikaru tightened his grip.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. It was me; it was my feelings that did this."

"I-I don't understand…Isn't this because of me and Haruhi?"

A low exhale of pain as Kaoru winced at the memories.

"Yes… but...not in the way you think…"

And with that, it all came out.

Everything.

The twins had always known that they loved each other. Even when they were little, there had been no sibling rivalry or fighting. They knew they had each other and each other was all they had.

But as teenagers it changed.

The introduction of Haruhi had changed it the most.

Both of them knew they shared the attraction to her. They didn't speak about it, but there was an unwritten rule that the first one who could get to her, got her.

Secretly, Kaoru knew he would never win this competition. No matter what happened, he would always put Hikaru first.

And that was exactly what he had done with the date today.

Despite what he knew, despite that they were already secretly together, he still wanted Hikaru to notice what he was doing. Giving her up. Because maybe, just maybe, if Hikaru noticed then he'd realise just how much Kaoru was willing to give up for him.

Seeing Haruhi and Hikaru, knowing that they'd just had sex made him feel sick. Not because it was them, but because it wasn't him and Hikaru. Then that made him feel even worse because it was so, so wrong and besides, Hikaru didn't like him that way and it was just so messed up.

Pushing him away had hurt, but not as much as it would have if he'd stayed close.

"So all this time… you let me think you were into Haruhi…"

"It was better than the alternative." Kaoru's voice was cold. Now that he'd stopped crying, his emotions had shut down, leaving him detached and hard-eyed.

Before either twin had time to react, Hikaru's lips were pressed firmly against Kaoru's.

They remained there for several seconds before Kaoru shoved him away, his tawny eyes rapidly refilling with tears.

"Kaoru, listen to me. I'm not doing this because I pity you or because I want you to feel better. I'm doing this because I'm pretty sure I love you. Because Haruhi was an experiment to see if I could transfer my feelings. Because her body leaves me cold and unexcited and the one time we actually tried to do it- which I know you know about- I had to think about you to get it over with. Because I only went on this date, this stupid, stupid date today because you were so insistent even though all I really wanted to do was stay here and make sure you were okay."

Kaoru blinked rapidly a few times, trying to make sense of it all. Then he narrowed his eyes and spoke thoughtfully.

"If you break my heart again, Hikaru Hitachiin, you will have hell to pay."

All Hikaru could feel was relief. His twin, his love was okay. He'd promised to stop the self-harming so Hikaru could relax and not have to panic that every time he went to the bathroom, he was trying to end his life.

They had spoken to Haruhi together and she was more than happy to let them be. She'd known from the start that this would indefinitely be the outcome but had wanted to test how long it took for them to realise it.

She was happy house-training Tamaki, who, at the excitement of having his little girl back and out of the evil clutches of the twins, was bounding around like an over-excitable puppy.

The brothers slept in each other's arms now. Kaoru continued to look out for Hikaru, but sometimes now the reverse happened. Hikaru was learning- slowly, but still- that sometimes he had to think of others before himself.

And that he was also not allowed to give Kaoru obnoxious and conspicuous love bites wherever he could because it earned him a slap.

Neither one of them mentioned that day, or the events leading up to it. The only time they thought about it was in the privacy of their own heads if they accidently walked in on Haruhi changing.

It happened more often than you would think, much to Tamaki's annoyance.

But even then, they'd simply go and find each other and make out a little in order to relieve their brains of "those filthy girl images."


End file.
